Provincial Grand Lodge of Essex
Press Releases
From Personal Loss to Shared Hope: Thurrock man inspires support.
When Martin Rooke, a Thurrock resident and Essex Freemason, lost his wife Becky, everything that mattered narrowed to one small person, his daughter Rachael, just two years old.
As a grieving husband and parent, Martin was faced with the immediate responsibility of caring for a very young child while coming to terms with his own loss. Becky, a nurse, had lived with mitochondrial disease and the daily reality of severe seizures, and her passing brought profound change to their family life.
Trying to explain such a loss in a way Rachael could understand was not easy. Martin chose a simple story about a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, not as a metaphor for others, but as a way of helping his daughter feel safe and reassured in a moment of confusion and absence.
When Martin shared this within his local Lodge, Henry de Grey who meet at the Cross Keys Masonic Centre, the response was immediate and sincere. Rather than offering words alone, members focused on being present and offering practical support. That steady, respectful, and ongoing support reassured Martin that he and his family were not facing this loss in isolation.
Through many conversations with David Barton, also a n Essex Freemason and founder of Get Started Art, a charity that uses creative activity to support wellbeing for people of all ages, particularly during difficult or challenging times, it became clear that Martin’s approach might help other families facing similar circumstances. From those discussions came the idea of developing the story into a children’s colouring book, designed to be calm, accessible, and non-intrusive, giving parents and carers a practical way to support young children through bereavement.
Essex Royal Arch Freemasons heard about the story and responded with generosity and purpose. This support sat naturally alongside their ongoing commitment to local hospice care and family support across the county, including their involvement in a £10,000 Christmas donation to local hospices and the time given by Companions who volunteered to collect Christmas trees to help raise additional funds. Royal Arch Companions from Old Parkonians Chapter, together with Companions of the Chapter of XV, also provided the funding required to produce the book at scale, ensuring it could be shared wherever it might genuinely help.
As a direct result of that support, 5,000 copies are now being distributed across Essex to hospices, hospitals, funeral directors, and family support services, including St Luke’s Hospices and Havens Hospices.
"Stories like Martin’s remind us of the profound impact that compassion and fellowship can have, said DepGSupt Excellent Companion Colin Felton. Through the quiet, practical support of our Royal Arch Companions, personal loss has met with shared hope and grief is transformed into comfort for families across Essex. It’s a powerful example of how our fraternity can make a real, tangible difference in people’s lives. I sincerely hope that our Royal Arch Chapters will continue to support this incredible initiative, ensuring that many more children and families can benefit from the care, kindness and guidance that our members so generously provide."
This remains, first and foremost, Martin’s story: an Essex Freemason, a parent, and now a widower, finding a way forward for his child. The support that followed shows how Masonic fellowship, offered quietly and without expectation, can help turn personal loss into something that brings comfort to many others.
If your Chapter or Lodge would like to support this work through funding or involvement, please contact
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